*Awesome w/out, So sore- love it!! So amazed at the condition of my body in only 4 weeks. *It gets EASIER yet SO MUCH HARDER!!! at the same time - Just 'happy' that I truly LOVE this journey! Totally struggled w/ wanting to eat over an emotional situation I am dealing with, THEN thought of ya'll, I have your support & can just walk away knowing I will not "DIE" (LOL!! -swear it feels that way sometimes..lol!) and wake up tomm. feeling great that I did not give in!!!! =)

The exercise part is easy for me, it's the "coping with out using food as my crutch"~ that is SO HARD for me!!!!!! Dang!!

Home~Settled and ready for "New Week 4", a bit more intense + adding in more cardio to shed a few xtra pds. for Christmas!! Will be very fun!!

*Lost 20pds.* HooRay!!!! took longer than anticipated but I 'll take it!! Still have more to go but feeling good! Struggling with my emotions as my body tries to adjust to Natural supplementation for Bi-Polar. VERY HARD!!!! Really believe I bit off more than I can chew but determined to see it to the end!! My body is trying desparetly to find balance...Depression is looming over me like NEVER BEFORE, EVER! which is alarming but believe I am on the right path so just goin to keep trusting in God & plugging along.

Worst Thanksgiving ever!! Home alone, but would rather that then deal w/ stupid family drama! Life's to dang short to be miserable!!!!! But I DID NOT eat because of my emotions~ *HUGE*!!!! Ran 6 miles instead... :o)))!!

UGH!! ~ Ate some "UTTER CRAP!!!" do to stress!! (that excuse is frankly gettin old!! workin on that ~ really!! ) SOOO... Got my video in and the a run, on flat ground must say I really enjoyed that and noticed how much faster I am !! Big YAY!!! Just raided Wholefoods for as many healthy holiday options as I could find!!..Yum!

Brought my weights and DVD's home to enusre I stay on track!! Anxious being out up rooted- again, but just goin to go with the flow & have fun w/ my Family!!!! My *only* focus at home, work out & eat as clean as possible~ just enjoy!!

Can't believe how much my stamina has changed in 3 weeks~ feel like wonder woman!!

Stressful day so went for a long run..70's and sunny, ran right smack into a horse farm, anyone who knows me knows HORSES are my Ultimate PASSION, I cried like a baby I was SOOO happy.=) LOL!! It was so great to pet the horses and feed them grass ~ made my day! Pure BLISS!!!!

noggin

Not feeling well :o( so took today as rest day. :o)

*Best w/out to date w/P90X legs, back and AB Ripper AMAZINGLY HARD but "GREAT!!!!!"

2 work outs: yoga - am & 1hr. of running hills - pm. GREAT!!!! Boy ~ I sure LOVE to run:o)!!!

* The scale moved!! - down, thankfully :o) 2 more lbs.! It's about time..LOL!! :o) Finally noticing my body shifting again, clothes fitting better, it's all good.

In 3rd month of personal challenge, feeling great!!, struggling to hit 20 pd. mark!! taking longer than expected but that's ok. :o) Finally feeling back into my groove since move here to St.Louis. Posting new pics soon. Thanks for all the support!! :o)

Week 2 - YAY! Can't believe how much I enjoy P90X! Great w/out today.....very happy!:o)

Ironically I was dying to go for a run but couldn't because it's day 7 & REST Day! I tinkered with doin it but knew in the end it would only backfire on me. Program says rest so rest it is!!!! :o)

Scale is NOT moving--- UGH!! I know all about water weight, body shifting, muscles weighs more......all that stuff, but I DON'T care, LOL!!!:-)))!!!! Just bloody move already!!LOL!! :o) I'm bustin' my BUTT!!! Trying to b patient, it's just TOUGH at times!!! :( Great W/out--- KenpoX!! Rest day ARRIVES!! =)

*Only one more day then REST!! so very xcited!!!! So glad that I am doin this in the privacy of my own home!!! LOL!! Sure- I can run 9 miles- lovin' every minute ~ this is a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY!! LOL!!!!!! Feel like a tellatubbby!!!! Love that I can "feel" my body working with every excerise...great:o))!!

Can barely wait to do legs & back tomorrow and AB Ripper...it's Killer,LOL!! Though I have taken it back a bit because being so sore that I can't workout is simply silly, sooo trying to break into it gently.....I say it but never do it!! LOL!:o))

DAY 3 - Had to stretch ALL DAY long...sooo sore, so funny, but Great!! :o)

So very xcited to be trying something new, always up for a new challenge and P90X is just that!!! So hard but so worth it!! I swear~ I finish a work-out and I walk taller.....so dog-gone proud that I did it!! Life  is Great, "firmly" back on track, this last time I fell hard but have not felt to this focused since moving here!! 

Getting up and reviewing goals and doing the same at night  really helps me.....feels really good to be back in the game; mentally, physically and emotionally!! Just keep thinking about the END result......

Feel Great,   Look Great,   Have an abundance of Energy and Mental CLARITY!! a crazy clear focused head!!  Most of all I want to find my true authentic self, I am finally beginning to emerge, very slowly but hey, that's okay!!!  Better late than never....=)!!

Day 2 DOWN!! we can barely move, DOMS Bigtime!! LOL! Only 88 more days, so focused and so xcited!!

I am finally BACK ON TRACK 150% !! It's great having a workout buddy, especially being my Sis. We both have run marathons and done a triathlon so we KNOW we both can "push well beyond our struggle point" so I am planning for AMAZING RESULTS!! So xcited!! Foods been great, loving every moment!

So blessed and So thankful.
  
                 * Thanks so much for the support ~

Day 1 DOWN!!! Did P90X in am then went for a great run in a short sleeve tshirt!! Love it!!

This weather is wonderful!! Food was great today. did my visualisation, then reviewed my goals in am as I will tonight, so helpful!! :o)))

* Mon. at 4:45 am I will begin "Day 1" of PX90 !! I have been doin it on and off, wanted to wait unitl I was ready to fully commit..

......................WELL- I'M READY!!I want to always stack the odds in my corner to be as successful as possible......I am so lucky~ my sister has agreed to give it a try for at least..3 weeks.I know that after 3 weeks the weight will be falling OFF and her energy will be soaring so she will keep at it!!! all the way to day 90!!!!  I know my sis and she will not QUIT!!!!! Were Cauley's and were Irish so we DO NOT QUIT!!!! EVER!!!! SO XCITED!!!!  This is going to be a great experience with my sister!!  :o)))

* "Love thyself" my new mini-mantra, need to shut up and just do it!!......Not feeling well, which tends to proceed feeling overwhelmed and off track...

I have been justifying my "being off" to the stress of my quick move. With that being said I am also making a 'Huge' effort to not beat myself up for every little setback that I have, because in reality that's all it is really - a setback. Instead I am choosing to use this time as an opportunity to reassess my goals and make any changes necessary to get back on track.  I have not been reviewing my goals daily as I did in MI, which is crucial for my success as well as visualisation, always has been always will. Need to stick with what works...duh! :o)

*"Love thyself" - need to shut up and just do it!!

So off schedule, mind, body, all of it~ can barely wait for am to run some hills..

It's been Ruff!! Foods Crazy BUT still running and P90X. My saving Grace right now!!

I was Anorexic ~ just under 5"8 and 107 lbs. PURE HELL......

I have been watching the advertisements for Oprah's upcoming show with Portia D'Rossi and her struggle with Anorexia that aired today.  I have gotten physically sick every time I watched the previews because I have unfortunately walked that path as well! It was a VERY DARK TIME!! I don't know how else to explain it! I would NEVER wish that on anyone, not even my worst enemy ( sure hope I don't actually have an enemy:))  It was as if someone else had taken over my body........seeing Oprah was cathartic because it's incredibly hard to explain to someone who has not been there, they all think you nuts!! As my family did as well.  I burned all my pictures a few years ago, a way to "release" my past, though sometimes things like that show just bring me right back to those days of incredible pain and sickness.  It was literally Hell on Earth!!! I cried almost the entire show and had the chills the rest of the time. I am so thankful that people have begun at least talking about it more....So needed to just put that out there....as I have gotten SO MANY  responses by people having themselves or have known of someone with Anorexia or Bulimia. I just wanted to address it in some way.....but that's all I can say right now......it's very hard to even think about and not feel the weight of the experience pull me down..